breathing under water

Devan broke up with tara today at 3 am. she called me at 8, i missed her first call because my phone had slipped behind my bed.

tonight we went to the top of the world and just cried together as we talked about losing love. i was reminded of a dream i have frequently where i can breathe under water. in the dream i just sit there under the surface slowly sinking, but not matter how far i sink the pattern on the water and the bright sun spot never get smaller-as though they are growing as i sink deeper as to not lose sight of me. or perhaps i am shrinking and not sinking at all, that also would make sense.

i wish i could breathe underwater, each little bubble of air that escaped might take a little of this pain away until there was no more pain and i could close my eyes and rest a while in the cool water, feeling the hot white of the sun permeate my eyelids.