sometimes i sit  here and just stare into the darkness outside my window.

i ask myself what could lie outside my windows when the dark takes over here?

there is a breeze here now, thank god. all day the air has been stagnant and hot. i felt hot in my cotton skirt and tank. 

the fact that it feels like summer makes me miss you more. you must be exhausted, i kept you up so late your time talking. i feel awful but at the same time i am thankful for every second i get to see your face and hear your voice, or your breathing when you cant talk. even text messaging you on the internet is fulfilling, but how i miss your eyes, deep pools that like the darkness creeping outside my window hold something i have yet to discover.

i really need to be re-reading my geology for monday and packing for tomorrow. i cant wait till you come home and you've just left.

i decided already that when you get back i am going to rent us a super nice hotel room where i will cut your hair, which will be so long then,  and  we can sleep for hours with our heads pressed so close together that the sweat from your brow becomes the sweat on mine. i would give anything to hear your breathing turn to sleep right now, that faithful change to a whisper of breath  means the world to me. to hear your laugh so close to my skin that i can feel the vibrations running across the surface.

i want more than anything a piggy back to my car, a piggy back to your car, a piggy back to where ever you want to take me because i don't care i will go anywhere with you.

i love you. i didn't think i would be able to, i didn't even try to. i didn't even have to.