10-28-09

lately i wonder where all my words have gone- the endless drawls of thoughts that used to plague me like white noise. unusually dull thoughts have been coming to mind, perhaps i am trying too hard to find interest in my own mind. lately though, i haven't even been able to escape in books, i have trouble becoming engaged, suddenly difficult to impress or intrigue. I don't like this new stage at all. Not to mention i feel my ideas are weak in nature, that i plated my aces too soon. Him fearing i would go limp in my art once i was accepted into the program, and now i fear i already have. so uninspired-so uninspiring. did i feel this way when i was in Italy? I think that it also began this way, last fall. The trouble is that i really am feeling it here...is is HOPELESSNESS.