family

lately one of the biggest parts of my life is my family.

but what makes family, what does it mean to be family?

my sister said, 'just because they are blood, doesn't mean they are family'

she hit it right on the head, they aren't family because they are blood.

watching my moms family tear apart is making me sick. i don't want to be at home anymore because everytime i walk in the door i chance seeing my mom more hurt.

i don't understand how her brothers and sisters can be so blind, i said to my mom this evening, 'how can adults be so stupid.' and i meant it. As a little kid i remember idolizing these people, who i am now embarrassed to be related to. 

as a child my mom was abused, and now her brothers and sisters still hold it against her... as though she had  a choice when it happened to her. maybe we understand, my sister and i, because we know what it is like not to have a choice...and because we know that if you love somebody you trust them and care enough for them to believe that the hard ships that life has put them through were not their choice. 

maybe my sister and i, as much as we fight, know how to love unconditionally...a quality that has long since vanished from the hearts of my aunts and uncles. 

it is a sad day when a hero falls.