you look a little frail

i hate this. i hate this day, this project that once seemed so cool to me now just seems stupid and rushed, i hate this day this moment in time.

i hate this feeling. i hate being frustrated. i hate wanting to cry over something so trivial as a sculpture, but in the end it means the world to me and so i do cry.

i dont feel like doing anything. especially seeing you. i dont want you to see me like this- its disgusting. i feel so weak and stupid.

i wish i could breathe underwater, i wish the ocean didnt remind me of the time when we swam forever and passed out on the sand like seals drying our skin in the sun. beach picnics in white tee shirts and jeans- we looked like we were going to take a family portrait as we climbed the rocks searching for a higher point of interest in the blue sky.

for a moment i feel empty again.